The Winds of Ysgard - Part One

[Gryphos]

With the increasing amount of people sitting at his table, Bendalitz was shoved further and further against the wall. He said nothing of it.

"Farrun, I'm curious of something," he did say. "We're on the road to the mountains, are we not? Where there are supposed to be dragon eggs. Now, I'm just a simple fishers' son." He cracked an amused smile. "I know little of those rugged mountains, but I do know that there's quite a lot of them. When we get there, will we have any guidance beyond just some kind of mysterious feeling? Or will we be rummaging through rocks for Gods know how long?"

 

[Legendary Sidekick]

Addison perked up at Bendalitz's words. She said to Troia, "Oh, on me last hunt, I spent a month chasing down an elusive beast. A whole month o' sleeping under the stars, shooting bucks and boars for me dinner, heating herbal teas o'er an open flame and bathing in lakes and rivers." Her glistening eyes gazed dreamily into the past.

 

[DMThaane]

"He raises a good point," Loke said, sitting down as though he'd always been part of the conversation. "I was forced into those mountains once, and into one of the many systems of caves that lie beneath them. We were lost down there for days, starving, desperate. Only five of us survived from a party larger than thirty." A hint of darkness slipped through his smiling façade. "It was… not pleasant."

He sipped from his cup, taking the time to quickly banish those dark thoughts. "You mentioned a call but if it could be our guide, would it not have guided others before us?"

 

[Tom]

Troia tried to imagine the hunting trip Addison described. It sounded--it almost sounded enjoyable. Einan was the one who loved the wilderness; he was the one who was gone for days on hunting trips, living as Addison had. Troia was the one who stayed behind, the one who stuck to the comforts of home. Now, she though with misgiving, she was on a long, treacherous journey that would take her far away. A pang of homesickness hit her.

She felt a hand squeeze her shoulder, and looked up into Einan's familiar gray eyes.

"It's alright," he said quietly.

Resting her hand on his, she leaned against him. She was not completely separated from home as long he was with her.

 

[Ireth]

Rikhard listened rather than spoke, and looked from one companion to the next as they shared their tales. Loke's in particular made bile rise in his throat, more at what was implied rather than said. A pang of loneliness hit him as Troia snuggled against Einan, and longing for the loved ones he had lost. His companions were still mostly strangers, but he hoped they'd grow closer as a group during the journey, wherever it took them. It would be like having brothers and sisters. He'd never had those before.

 

[Legendary Sidekick]

Addison tried to imagine herself among a party turning on each other, eating each other. She concluded her experiences in the wild were more fun than Loke's, and judging by Troia's and Rikhard's grim expressions, it was best not to dwell on Loke's past.

"Oh, don't be such worry warts. We got a dragon on our side, remember? He probably just has to sniff around and send us into caverns where he can't fit. If we lose our direction, Farrun can mindspeak with his dragon and we'd find our way."

She knew she might have come off overconfident, so she added a preemptive retort: "One thing I'm certain of—ye don't go into the wild full o' fear. Beasts sense it, and pounce on it. Embrace the wilderness, and respect its dangers… but never let fear take over. Fear turns ye from predator to prey."

 

[DMThaane]

"By all means," Loke said, leaning back in his chair, a smile on his face that did not quite reach his eyes. "If you've found a way to make prey of mountain ranges it would fascinate me to hear of it. Farrun was a miner. I'm sure he can relate how many ways a cave can kill a person, none of which require you to fear it."

He drained his cup, holding it up for a refill. "In my experience it's being eaten that turns one from predator to prey. As such, I show a healthy caution towards anything resembling jaws."

And what were mountains if not rows of teeth? Or caves but gaping maws consuming all that enter? Or perhaps a dragon rising up beneath him, a black pit ready to swallow him whole. He'd never quite learned how to take his own advice. Still, if he was to leap off that cliff he could, at least, warn others of what lay at the bottom.

 

[Legendary Sidekick]

Addison isn't sure if she should waste her breath on the mountain range comment. When Loke speaks of healthy caution, she figures her experience with the breel is relevant enough.

"I seen a man get eaten alive. A big man. Twenty stone, ducked through doors, wore full plate on the wyvern hunt, and yes… fearless up until he was in the creature's jaws. He died screaming. I ain't saying throw caution to the wind or not showing fear's a guarantee. I'm saying it's your best bet.

"Me, me boss, the faith healer—we failed to save our man, but still had each other to protect. We didn't let fear consume us. That wyvern near pissed on us when we showed it who should be afraid. In its moment o' panic, I went in for the kill. Now I'm wearing its skin.

"That's because I'm a predator, and I can prey on fear like any other beast."

With a smile she adds, "Mountains fear nothing. I fear heights. So, no, I won't make prey o' no mountain range."

 

[Ireth]

Rikhard watched Addison as she spoke. Her words about fear plucked a chord in his heart somewhere. He'd lived in fear for so long, it seemed stranger not to be afraid.

"How do you do it?" he asked softly. "Keep fear from taking you over?" Shame swept over him as the words left his mouth. He must sound like such a coward for even asking the question.

 

[DMThaane]

"There is no single answer to that question," Loke said, thanking the barmaid as she refilled his cup. "In simple terms, you find something within yourself, something within which fear cannot take hold. I've seen people hold to the Gods, to their sense of duty. The desire not to fail friends is surprisingly powerful. I've seen a man who would not brave a cold wind to collect his own plate of food walk out into showers of arrows because his injured friend had dropped a token of Mael and he felt it needed to be retrieved, even without ever being asked. I've seen others for whom it simply never occurs to them to be afraid, so distracted are they by the rush of events. My friend, Aster, considers fear merely part of the exhilaration of it all, but then, when Vyrhel is your patron you see these things with a different eye."

He glanced over his shoulder, as though expecting to see her there. But of course, there was nothing. "As for me…" A flash of memory struck and his hand reached for the locket tucked under his shirt. He barely stopped from touching it and instead hid the gesture by scratching his chin. Likewise, the grimace playing at the corners of his mouth he turned into an all-concealing smile. "Well, we all have our ways."

He raised the cup to his lips and drank down those old memories and the scars they contained. By the time he lowered it again his smile was genuine. "For others the desire to kill or hurt those that harmed them is stronger than any fear. It is a dark well to draw from but it douses fear all the same. And a rare few, the strangest of characters, possess a will to survival more powerful than any magic. They survive snow storms, starvation, events that would cripple the mind of almost any other, and while they feel fear just as those around them, it pales when compared to that purity of instinct. It is as though survival is just such a part of who they are that it simply never occurs to them to falter."

He shook his head. "And yet, to look on them you would never find them impressive. It is a strange world we live in."

 

[Ireth]

Rikhard nodded. He noticed Loke almost reaching for something under his collar, and resisted the urge to touch his own pendant. The mention of the gods lingered in his mind. His faith in Adannus had kept him from simply killing himself when the Captain's abuse grew too much to bear, though there had certainly been times he had seriously considered doing so. It would have reunited him with his parents, for one thing... And yet, for whatever reason, he still lived. He chose to live. Maybe that was some sort of bravery too.

He sighed and turned back to his breakfast. He'd need all the strength he could get for the long road ahead.

 

[Tom]

"Fear is not always a bad thing," Einan said, steeling himself. He'd often been the one to voice an unpopular opinion in the past, and was used to the reactions to it. "Fear can be a guide; listen to it, and it will keep you from harm. As long as you don't let it overwhelm you, it can work in your favor."

He crossed his arms on the table and leaned forward. "Fear has saved my life before. Last summer, I was hunting deeper into the foothills than I've ever gone before--just before they become mountains. I sometimes hunt at night; I can see better after dark than a human could."

Hopefully that would come across as a simple statement of fact rather than boasting, he thought, wincing a little.

"My campsite was in a deep hollow in the woods. To get into it, I had to walk beneath a clump of tall trees with branches that hung out over the trail. As I came back late one night, I suddenly just felt...frightened. As if a ghost had touched me. I just felt like I needed to get out of there as fast as I could. So I ran. I set up another camp a few miles away, but I couldn't sleep that night--I was so restless that I just paced for hours with my bow at the ready. The next morning, I went back to my campsite with an arrow fitted to the string. When I came to the stand of trees, there was a set of prints in the ground beneath one of the branches that jutted out over the trail."

As he paused, he saw that Troia was nodding--she'd heard this story before.

"They were panther tracks," he said, and cupped his hands to form a large circle. "That big around. The cat had been up in the tree, waiting to pounce on me. Once I saw the the tracks, I packed up as fast as I could and got of there. I still don't like hunting in that area."

He shrugged. "So, sometimes fear can save your life. It's how you deal with your fear that determines whether it's good or bad."

 

[Legendary Sidekick]

Addison thought about how her last hunt had ended. "Yeah, I walked away from a beast I didn't think I could handle meself."

She turned to Rikhard. "Loke's answer's spot on, everyone's got their own way o' conquering fear. But it was me training days that helped me most. Me old friend who crafted me bow, she was a mountain o' muscle. Couldn't shoot worth a damn, but I knew from the start if we were ever in a spot she'd run her blade through anyone or anything that meant me harm.

"Aw, but we were just sixteen and our masters weren't sending us off to die. Mostly, we hiked, talked, and grew quite fond o' sleeping under stars." Tugging on her wolfskin cloak, she added, "Me big friend did get me out of a spot, but it was just me and her for almost a month by then. In that time, I'd found another means to conquer fear.

"I embraced the beast within me. Being out in the wild, I was living like a beast, and loving it. I was there with me best friend, we talked, we joked, we were there for each other. I didn't lose me humanity, but I gained something. I was a beast, on top o' the food chain. No man or beast would take that away from me."

Her eyes gazed into Rikhard's. "There's a beast in ye. Me childhood was easier than yours, so I ain't claiming to relate. I suspect what ain't killed ye hardened ye more than ye know. When we're in the wild, away from civilization that made life hard on you, soft on me—" Turning to Einan, she added, "—away from assholes who care what your ears look like… the beast in ye will have no choice but to show itself.

"You'll still have your humanity—" Turning to Einan, she added, "—or elf…vish…ness? And ye don't lose that. The beast in ye will help ye survive the wild. The person in ye will keep the beast in check. The trick to that is knowing what ye love and holding onto it."

 

[Ireth]

Rikhard looked back at Addison with a shrug. "My childhood was fine. It was when I was closer to adulthood that it all fell apart." He pondered her words about his inner beast without comment. Maybe she saw him the same way Thoros did: as a peregrine falcon, a wanderer on the wind.

 

[Tom]

Einan smiled a little wryly at Addison's hasty substitution for the word 'humanity'. "It's all right, Addison. I'd rather...forget my elvishness. I grew up among humans, so I don't really consider myself an elf. I'll wager any elves we meet will agree with me on that."

Realizing how that had come out, he added quickly, "Not Yvalhyn--Iridheen. And I'd like it if we ran into Iridheen...it would be nice to meet my birth people."

 

[Legendary Sidekick]

Addison was not looking forward to killing a person, but she had no intention to discuss her own fears.

She said to Rikhard, "Forgive me ignorance. Seems things always fall apart after childhood, but I won't pry. I'll listen if ye mean to tell what's been eaten at ye. If ye mean for ghosts o' the past to stay in the past, I respect that."

Addison clutched her wolfskin cloak.​ I'll keep me ghosts with me.

 

[Ireth]

Rikhard nodded. "Maybe." It might help to have someone to talk to about all that had happened to him... cleaning the wounds, so to speak, so they could heal properly. But that could wait.

 

[Gryphos]

Addison's fumble over 'humanity' yanked Bendalitz down a long and bumpy line of thought. "Elvanity?" he suggested at last, nodding to himself. "Or is it elfanity, with an 'F'? I like elvanity."

He shrugged. "But anyway ... ah, the past and its ghosts. I first killed when I was seventeen. Four Yvalhyn elves occupied my village, and needless to say, they weren't nice. But nobody could muster the courage to take them on, except me. After I killed them, suddenly the whole village was filled with revolutionary zeal. They couldn't wait to join the War."

Bendalitz smiled. "It was nice to be a hero. Still is."

 

[Ireth]

Rikhard stared at the tabletop. Did being a hero always mean having to kill? He had killed animals for food, yes, but never another person, be they human, elf or dwarf. (Not that he'd ever met a dwarf.) Even when he'd had the Captain at his mercy, he couldn't bring himself to deliver the killing blow. Would the others have hesitated, or would they have gone right for the kill?

 

[Tom]

Einan smiled as Benalitz tossed around his new word. "I think 'elvanity' sounds a touch too similar to 'vanity', but if you like it, you can use it. I prefer to just count myself part of humanity and leave it at that."

His smile faded, though, as the conversation turned down a dark corridor and into the realm of killing, death, ghosts, and other such things. Resting his chin on one hand, he wondered if, when the time came, he would be able to kill another person. He'd killed plenty of animals in his time, but that was different. A person, even if they were a Yvalhyn elf, had thoughts...feelings...dreams...fears. An animal had none of that--well, not all animals, he amended, glancing down at Ari. Troia's dog sometimes seemed to be a person in his own right.

"I don't want to kill," he said quietly, feeling a catch in his throat. "I don't want to see another person's life leave them at my hands. Causing death...I think it changes you. Every time you kill, a part of you dies as well--to even the score. Taking too many lives might just cost you your own."