Side One, Ep.2 "Double Dog Dare"

[Ireth]

Vincent

I nod and smile. "Fascinating. I'd certainly be willing to make more use of that sort of thing than I already have been. Even without magic, unarmed combat could come in useful. And the price is reasonable, too. But how soon could we begin, what with the dojo being damaged?"

 

[JRFLynn]

JEISERA

Fifty feet long? My eye’s bulge, as a beast like that sounds more fit for the fables.

“Never heard of it.” Says I, flatly. “But a beast ya can’t eat is somethin’ I don’t care to cross.”

“To think something like that exists…” I scowl, overwhelmed all of a sudden. I could see a creature like that destroying my old home, but my heart knew the ones responsible were the two-legged bastard variety. “Monsters as foul dashed my home, so now it’s me and Sis. Riff’s all I got…that’s why I’m here. I want to get stronger.”

Raising a brow, I look to Esmerelda. “Not sure if you can help me, but I figure it’s time to learn my trade.”

The old one seems surprised. Not what she expected? Herbalism, after all, is a gentle craft. It may be too boring for furgle-flailing ruffians.

I’m pretty dogged in my resolve, though, eyes squinty with my steaming cup of tea.

"So, can you? Can you help me?" I mumble, going red. Arg, not good at this. Asking favors. "So I can look after Riff?"

Addison seems stymied too, moved even...or, maybe it's my scrambly brain playing tricks? She's a tough one to read.

A flimsy grin wiggles on my face. "She's quite the trouble-muckerin' pixy."

 

[Reaver]

Aisha finally releases me from her embrace, teleports back to her plush chair and says: "So what brings you back here?"

"Well..."

I give her a detailed account of everything that occurred since leaving Roku-Roku. When I finish, the look on her face is one of astonishment.

"Incredible! It's a miracle that you and your companions are still alive."

"They are all skilled warriors." I reply, sitting down in a very comfortable chair in front of the desk. "Each has a unique set of skills that have thus far proven to be invaluable."

"I still have your naginata." Aisha says, her golden eyes sparkling. "Do you want it?"

"Certainly. I have a feeling that it will come in handy later."

Aisha laughs. "If things go the way they have so far, I have no doubt."

"By the way," she adds, did you happen to see that sickly-looking fellow sitting by himself at the far corner table when you came in?"

"Yes. He bears a striking resemblance to Pale Jackal. If he is who I think he is...I must alert my companions at once. I'm certain that PJ has business with that fellow."

A scowl unfurls across Aisha's sculpted face. "I don't want any trouble in my place, Reaver. I mean it."

"If any hostility even remotely seems like it's going to happen, I promise that we'll take it outside."

Aisha doesn't seem convinced. "I swear old man, if I get even the slightest whiff of trouble, I'm going to have Olga smash some skulls."

"If something happens, I will gladly offer my skull to be smashed first by your cycloptic barmaid."

This makes Aisha smile. "Good."

"Now, may I have my naginata?"

 

[Legendary Sidekick]

Vincent

Emma says, "We may begin when we finish our cake." To Beatrice, she adds, "While I train Mr. Hawk, you should return to Lara's shop. It is Maiden's Day, after all."

Beatrice looks at Diana and says, "Oh, silly me! I forgot it was my birthday!"

Emma's response is simply, "Born on Maiden's Day. Lucky girl." To Vincent she says, "We don't need a dojo. I am a nun, a telekinetic, and a street fighter, too. The street is where we shall train."

As Emma escorts Vincent and the ladies to the door, she points out a large bell. "That's where the old temple to The Spirit used to be. I prefer to train there, and we won't attract too many onlookers."

Beatrice politely urges Diana and Princess Fenella to go to Lara's shop with her.



Jeisera

Esmerelda says, "If you mean to learn about caring for plants, dear, I suppose I can help you. Let's begin with the basics: pulling weeds."

Addison clearly wants no part of the weeding. She sips her tea, a mild tension brewing as she wonders if she'll also be asked to pull weeds.



Reaver

The sickly man's eyes shift at the mention of Pale Jackal's name.

He seems as surprised as Olga that he can hold his liquor.

"You didn't water this down, did you, my pretty?"

Olga's face proves to be quite expressive for a woman with only one eyebrow.

The man spins a gold coin her way. "A joke, sweetheart. Consider me a satisfied customer."

He walks up to Reaver. "Pale Jackal, you say. A friend of yours?"

 

[Ireth]

Vincent

I look at Ms. Bison, a little doubtful. "Are you sure that training so soon after eating is a good idea?"

Beatrice's thoughts ring in my mind. I'm sorry to delay her getting to the shrine, if it is my fault for accepting this training. I can't see it taking a very short time; Ms. Bison seems to have a great deal to teach.

Diana

I nod in response to Beatrice's urging, and look to Fenella for her opinion.

 

[Legendary Sidekick]

Vincent

Emma replies, "It is a technique that combines mind, body and spirit. You may focus on the mind part for now, and simply observe. When you are ready, you may attempt one of the techniques. The fee is for one technique, and I will not charge you until you have committed to learning one. If you wish to learn more than one, that is another lesson for another day. Is this satisfactory?"

 

[Ireth]

Vincent

I nod. "I see." I'm not sure I can afford more than two at this point without dipping into Diana's share of our funds. Perhaps I can return for the third when I have more money.

And speaking of funds... I make sure to leave nine jacks on the table before we leave. Fifteen percent is the standard amount for a tip, I think.

 

[JRFLynn]

JEISERA

"Er...?" My jaw tightens. Weeds? The cunning old granny! I notice Addison's not too keen either. Grr. Well, I made a ninny of myself askin' so earnest, so there's no turning back from a few measly dandelions.

Fair enough! I'm not afraid of a little dirt. "Alright! I'll pull 'em, and rip 'em, and dash 'em soon as we're done here!"

My nose is already tickling with dread.

 

[Legendary Sidekick]

Vincent - At the Bell

Emma Bison tosses her cloak to the ground. Her body remains fully-covered, but in a leather and fishnet outfit that most would not associate with a nun, though the form-fitting outfit is, in fact, far more modest than what most followers of The Spirit wear. Matching the outfit in both blackness and leather is a whip coiled at Emma's hip.

She begins to levitate. Dust shoots from her soles as she lifts off, and the force causes the nearby bell to ring. The bell is as tall as a person and warped. When it tolls for the second time, Vincent notices the bell makes a different note depending where it is struck.

Emma uses her telekinesis to move three wooden men into position. The process is slow, and while there is nothing peaceful or serene about the chaos of bell tolls, wooden men and the personal sandstorm surrounding the woman, it is clear to Vincent that this is Emma's version of meditation.

Her eyes glow white, and the stake protruding from the barrel-chect of a wooden man is driven into the ground. The other two are secured as well, but the last one seems to jerk it's painted bucket-head toward Emma as if to ask, 'Who me?' Its broomstick arms are raised in a defensive position.

"I will crush you first!" she says angrily.

The wooden man is about thirty-five feet away, but that doesn't stop Emma from leaping from where she stands.

She lifts from the ground quickly. The whirlwind of sand collapses as she jumps off the Earth, at least twenty feet in the air. Both boots land on the wooden man's head. The bucket, barrel and broomsticks shatter. A quick death. She turns her back on her defeated opponent. The stake tips over and clatters next to the other pieces.

Her next target approaches. She watches the wooden man float toward her. Too slow. The wooden man is driven into the ground.

Emma draws back both fists, which are suddenly engulfed in purple flame. She punches both fists forward at once, and spins trough the air, ultimately colliding with her opponent. Emma laughs as the wooden man is engulfed in the purple flame. His barrel chest cracks, and he rolls one way, then the other, as his insides catch fire. Writhe in pain.

The last wooden man attempts to flee. Too late.

Emma brings both hands to her hip. For a moment, it seems she is reaching for her whip—until Vincent sees fire swirling between her palms. "Burn in Hell!" She shoves both palms forward, hurling a purple fireball toward the wooden man, who is now trapped by his stake. Doomed. The wooden man explodes upon impact.

Emma turns toward Vincent as burning, broken boards rain down behind her.

"And now, my student, The Bell Tolls for Thee!"

Emma's mind gives away its position, and Vincent knows to look up—but when he sees what he sees, there is nothing he can do. A large, glass bell rapidly falls from the sky.

BONG! The glass bell shatters in front of him.

Vincent is unable to move as his ears are ringing, but he realizes that though the shards are only an illusion, the bell may have harmed him had it struck any closer.

Emma draws her whip while Vincent is immobilized. She gently waves her hand, and lets her weapon coil around Vincent's neck. She reels him in uncomfortably close, but does nothing. She lets the whip slink off of Vincent's shoulders. He feels the leather caressing his neck as he is released from Emma's grip.

She smiles at her student. I win. Perfect.

She raises her free hand, catching her cloak as it darts through the air toward her. She names the four techniques that Vincent witnessed and asks, "Which is your preference?"

 

[Legendary Sidekick]

Jei - In the Garden

As Jei is weeding, the old woman occasionally points out spots she missed. The third time she says, "One more minute," Addy wonders if time has stopped. She also wonders if time would fly faster if she got off her butt and helped, but Addy remains seated with her tea.

Esmerelda sees Jei pick up what she must think is ​yet another dandelion. "That is a Dandelioness," Esmerelda explains. "You may keep that. Add boiled water, and you will see it has value as an herbal drink. 'The Dandelioness empowers women.' Such rubbish, to say it like that, but that's how it was explained to me. I would have preferred my teacher simply tell me, 'men should not drink this.' You may have more than one, if you can find another. Just know that in order for one Dandelioness to do anything, you must steep it in boiling water. One makes a cup of tea; two for a kettle. If you have five, you can eat them cold like a salad, as long as they're fresh-picked."



Riff, Mariya - At the Dojo

When Riff burps, she notices a leaf fall from her shoulder. She is still huge, but perhaps a foot shorter then when she first made a mess of the dojo.

Pidge says to Mariya and Muziko, "I guess the mega's effect wears off. I didn't know. I never stayed that big for that long. And I never got one of those leaf outfits either. What's up with that?"

Muziko tries to catch the falling leaf, but flees in terror when she sees how colossal the leaf is. She giggles when she realizes it's safe, and tells Mariya, "The leaves are changing color. How pretty." She looks down at her own gray body and gray clothes.

 

[Ireth]

Vincent

I watch, mesmerized, as Ms. Bison demonstrates her techniques. The effortless grace of her movements only accentuates the deadliness of her attacks. The glass bell literally leaves me stunned, and I cannot resist as she coils her whip around my neck and reels me in. Like a fish on a hook.

The whip slithers down, and I can move again. My brow furrows as I ponder her techniques. Of the four, Angel Fire and Fiery Retribution appeal to me most. I might have to flip a coin over this.

I pull a maiden from my pocket, looking to Ms. Bison with a smile. "Heads, I'll tackle the Angel Fire. Tails, Fiery Retribution."

I flick the coin into the air, watching as it lands...

((Rolled twice by accident. Good thing they were both the same!))

 

[Legendary Sidekick]

Vincent

Emma grins, "You wish to fly toward your foes and engulf them, then. Very well. We will start with the basic punch, then the double punch, and if your magic you spoke of includes telekinesis and and kind of fire magic… yes, I believe you will not have wasted your time. Or money. The demonstration was free, but the lesson is not.

"But you are a man of expensive tastes, it would seem, and surely you see that my lesson is a bargain."

A wave of her hand calls up another wooden man. "Let us begin," she says.

 

[JRFLynn]

JEISERA

Gardening brings back lots of memories, not to mention the pesky gnomes and dancing petals frolicking about. This lovely patch of gayety has the Gardener’s blessing, that’s why blasted plants can’t stay rooted to the ground! I try to ignore the pests whilst I follow the herbalist’s instructions.

Addison is resting on an old stump, drinking tea. Me, I’m up to my elbow’s in mulch. After tossing a rose-child or two, as they wouldn’t quit snagging my fingers wanting to play, I stop my search and take a break.

Snorting back a ball of gook, all the durned buzzing pobblers and their flower-caps are spraying dense clouds of shimmering pollen into the air, igniting my allergies! Our presence here amidst the beds and hedges are really stirring up a hullabaloo! Flower-life is skittish to begin with. Though, it may have something to do with Esmerelda’s grandson teasing the gnomes.

Distant squeaks and grumpy bumbles raise from the garden whilst the children chase after a flock of prancing mums.

Nodding, I smile at Esmerelda. “I wonder what mischief Riff could unleash with one of these?” Holding up the peculiar flower, the dandelioness is nearly indistinguishable from its male equivalent. Although its dainty color is the same, the flower’s stem is fuzzier, its petals softer, with a curling skirt of red beneath the bud.

“I’ll try and gather enough for the both of us.” I add. “Though, just how does it ‘empower’ us gals?”

RIFF

Thank goodness, I won’t be a towering spectacle for much longer…I could feel myself shrink from that burp. Never thought I’d embrace bad etiquette.

I wish I could play with Pidge and the other pixies below. Though, I doubt they'd want to in my current state. The grey one named Mizuko screams and narrowly avoids getting squashed by one of my leaves. Huh? That's when something odd happens. Marveling, my leafy garment gradually darkens to a deep crimson.

 

[Legendary Sidekick]

((I like your description of the weed.))

Jeisera is able to easily distinguish the similar weeds. As such, she doesn't accidentally toss them in Esmerelda's pail. She finds a total of seven Dandelionesses by the time her work is complete.

Addison doesn't see the big deal. "So, can guys eat regular dandelions or…? Sorry. Stupid question. I know little about plants, other than the nasty variety with snappy teeth." She winces. "And licky tongues. Gotta stay out o' reach o' that tongue."

 

[Ireth]

Vincent

I nod, slip the coin back among its fellows, and repeat my words from before. "Never too late to learn something new. Time and money well spent, in my opinion. Telekinesis and fireworks have served me well thus far."

I look from the dummy to my instructor, taking deep breaths to rein in my rising excitement as I await her instructions. Focus is key, that much is clear.

 

[Ruby]

Fenella: I accept Beatrice's kind offer to go to Lara's shop with her. I hope that Diana is coming too and try to sign to her.

I also welcome Vincent's request that, as an Amazon, I could teach him a "Battle Song".

"It's wonderful to meet a man who sings and worships the Voice," I say. "It will be quite a challenge to teach you, but I'm impressed that a man such as you, Vincent, wants to learn how to do it!"

 

[JRFLynn]

JEISERA

“Aye, I’ve seen those. Lickity-Snaps. Tried to take a chunk of me once, but it was after my dead honey-badger.” My head shakes with regret. “He would’ve made a nice honey-stew.”

Pleased at this fine catch, I managed to find seven of those girly-lions. Esmerelda hasn’t said anything, I think she wants me to test it out.

As we head back inside, Esmerelda’s grandson tries to smuggle in a gnome, but the beastly root grumbles and pops a nubby hand through the boy’s shirt. Esmerelda boots the rambunctious child out. We girls are going to have some tea.

Her granddaughter, Sage, watches as I stuff two dandelioness flowers into the kettle and toss another wood block in the stove.

Esmerelda then regales us with a few quirky stories whilst we wait, oddly cheery and spry.

Once the four of us have our cups of boiled weeds, I take a sip…

 

[Ireth]

Vincent

Ms. Bison is a very efficient instructor -- firm, but not ungracious, acknowledging my successes as much as failures. I like to think I am a good student, pushing myself to improve. While I don't exactly bask in my successes, I see them as stepping-stones to do even better next time around.

When we begin working with fire, I decide now is a good time to experiment. Perhaps I can blend Battle Song with Angel Fire. It may not work against a wooden dummy, especially since I haven't actually learned the Amazon skill yet, but it could be fun to try. Besides which, ideally, singing could help me focus on the specific spell.

"Now I see fire, inside the mountain; I see fire, burning the trees..."

Pitiful. I try again...

"And I see fi-i-i-ire, hollowing souls; I see fi-i-i-ire, blood in the breeze..."

Better, but not wonderful. I can definitely do better.

Time seems to fly past as my tutelage continues. I can't tell if it's been minutes or hours already. I hardly think it matters, so long as I keep learning.

At last Ms. Bison dismisses me; I hope it's because my progress is satisfactory, not because I failed to live up to her expectations. I take my leave with a grateful bow and head toward the dress shop. Now to see about learning a proper Battle Song from Fenella. I wait for her outside the shop, hoping she finds any purchases to exceed her expectations. A gown blessed by the Maiden must be beautiful indeed.

 

[Reaver]

((JJ must have the ears of a hawk because Reaver and Aisha are in her office at the back of the kitchen. I guess my posts didn't reflect that. But whatevs...I'm flexible, so I'll play along.))

"That's correct," I say to the yellowish man. "A very good friend indeed. I take it you know him."

 

[Legendary Sidekick]

((Oops.))

"It's been a while," JJ replies. "Tell PJ he ain't the only Jackal in town. No rush."

He heads back to the bar, and says to Olga, "I just wanna gaze into your beautiful eye. And drink." He gives her a jack. "Something strong, this time," he says. "Strong as you, cutie."

Olga seems to be tolerating the man quite a bit, though other patrons keep their distance.