Random thoughts

[Chessie]

Oh, Steam. Damn you. I love how when Skyrim works, Fallout doesn't. And when Fallout works, Skyrim doesn't.

*shakes fist angrily*

 

[TheCrystallineEntity]

The game I want is rather expensive.

 

[TheCrystallineEntity]

Oh, suddenly I'm a Scribal Lord. How did that happen?

 

[Ireth]

Oh, suddenly I'm a Scribal Lord. How did that happen?

You reached 600 posts, that's how!

 

[TheCrystallineEntity]

^I didn't even notice! As if I needed more proof that I'm more airy than earthly.

 

[FifthView]

So I was just browsing for books on Amazon, and I found an independently published novel that looked interesting, started reading the preview, it looked good...

The very first paragraph of the novel has a sentence that runs for 219 words.....Yikes! I actually had to stop and count them.

 

[TheCrystallineEntity]

^Wow! That's rather excessive.

 

[Nimue]

So I was just browsing for books on Amazon, and I found an independently published novel that looked interesting, started reading the preview, it looked good...

The very first paragraph of the novel has a sentence that runs for 219 words.....Yikes! I actually had to stop and count them.

I'm really curious if that was going for stylistic effect and whether it worked on that level? Or any level at all. Being guilty of breathless sentences myself on occasion. But that is a doozy...

 

[Brian Scott Allen]

So I was just browsing for books on Amazon, and I found an independently published novel that looked interesting, started reading the preview, it looked good...

The very first paragraph of the novel has a sentence that runs for 219 words.....Yikes! I actually had to stop and count them.

Why? Also, how?

 

[FifthView]

@Nimue & BSA:

Ok, here it is. A guy is on a battlefield, contemplating his death (some smaller sentences before this. Also, technically, another whole introductory passage in italics.)

It started tame enough, with nothing more than a bullet in the head, quick and painless, though he reasoned someone with fortune enough to die from a bullet in the head hardly ever ended up in frontline infantry where there were mines to contend with, where the odds of stepping on a mine were considerably high--seeing as how two of his good friends, though not particularly good soldiers, had gone that way not hours ago--which could be reasonably painful depending on how his bodily pieces were divided by the explosion, but then he was almost sure he wasn't even lucky enough to go out in a "blaze of glory"--as they'd taken to calling it in an effort at making them all feel better about the prospect of being blown to bits--and more and more of his blood brothers had been giving it up to septic shock, which was common and likely enough, but far too morbidly humiliating for him to handle, and, anyway, he really had the sense he was going to bite it from something completely outrageous, unheard of, ridiculous, like choking on a chicken bone, but that was also too humiliating for him to handle, and completely unreasonable since they hadn't even seen a [f-ing] chicken in...how long had it been now?​

I may have miscounted before; I was at work. Why browsing at work for new books to read? Heh, don't ask. But I'm too exhausted after typing that out to do another count...

The guy is on a battlefield, and I think this is an attempt to show his frantic, wandering mind.

If you open the preview up, you can see there are a LOT of large paragraphs and sentences. Author is fond of lots of "which" and "though," always modifying a thought with some additional phrasing. So reading it is...interesting. On the one hand, it seems very flabby. On the other, I wonder if I could let myself just roll with it and see how the story goes. The kindle version was listed as free for some reason, so I went ahead and downloaded and may give it a try out of sheer curiosity. (Link for the curious. Warning: Has a gay theme and/or romance, so if that bothers you, don't bother...)

 

[TheCrystallineEntity]

^I often have long sentences/paragraphs when I describe things [that is, most of the book], but that takes it to a whole new level!

 

[Nimue]

@Nimue & BSA:

Ok, here it is. A guy is on a battlefield, contemplating his death (some smaller sentences before this. Also, technically, another whole introductory passage in italics.)

It started tame enough, with nothing more than a bullet in the head, quick and painless, though he reasoned someone with fortune enough to die from a bullet in the head hardly ever ended up in frontline infantry where there were mines to contend with, where the odds of stepping on a mine were considerably high--seeing as how two of his good friends, though not particularly good soldiers, had gone that way not hours ago--which could be reasonably painful depending on how his bodily pieces were divided by the explosion, but then he was almost sure he wasn't even lucky enough to go out in a "blaze of glory"--as they'd taken to calling it in an effort at making them all feel better about the prospect of being blown to bits--and more and more of his blood brothers had been giving it up to septic shock, which was common and likely enough, but far too morbidly humiliating for him to handle, and, anyway, he really had the sense he was going to bite it from something completely outrageous, unheard of, ridiculous, like choking on a chicken bone, but that was also too humiliating for him to handle, and completely unreasonable since they hadn't even seen a [f-ing] chicken in...how long had it been now?​

I may have miscounted before; I was at work. Why browsing at work for new books to read? Heh, don't ask. But I'm too exhausted after typing that out to do another count...

The guy is on a battlefield, and I think this is an attempt to show his frantic, wandering mind.

If you open the preview up, you can see there are a LOT of large paragraphs and sentences. Author is fond of lots of "which" and "though," always modifying a thought with some additional phrasing. So reading it is...interesting. On the one hand, it seems very flabby. On the other, I wonder if I could let myself just roll with it and see how the story goes. The kindle version was listed as free for some reason, so I went ahead and downloaded and may give it a try out of sheer curiosity. (Link for the curious. Warning: Has a gay theme and/or romance, so if that bothers you, don't bother...)

While not completely incomprehensible, that genuinely lost my attention (and subject-predicate matching ability) halfway through. Two or three long sentences could have had the same effect... The style could certainly be read, I'd just hope the author put no really important information in the middle of a knot like that. Wonder if they had an editor.

 

[TheCrystallineEntity]

Cookies!

 

[Chessie]

Yeah....that seems more like an unedited ramble to me. But maybe it was a stylistic choice, although it seems confusing.

 

[DragonOfTheAerie]

@Nimue & BSA:

Ok, here it is. A guy is on a battlefield, contemplating his death (some smaller sentences before this. Also, technically, another whole introductory passage in italics.)

It started tame enough, with nothing more than a bullet in the head, quick and painless, though he reasoned someone with fortune enough to die from a bullet in the head hardly ever ended up in frontline infantry where there were mines to contend with, where the odds of stepping on a mine were considerably high--seeing as how two of his good friends, though not particularly good soldiers, had gone that way not hours ago--which could be reasonably painful depending on how his bodily pieces were divided by the explosion, but then he was almost sure he wasn't even lucky enough to go out in a "blaze of glory"--as they'd taken to calling it in an effort at making them all feel better about the prospect of being blown to bits--and more and more of his blood brothers had been giving it up to septic shock, which was common and likely enough, but far too morbidly humiliating for him to handle, and, anyway, he really had the sense he was going to bite it from something completely outrageous, unheard of, ridiculous, like choking on a chicken bone, but that was also too humiliating for him to handle, and completely unreasonable since they hadn't even seen a [f-ing] chicken in...how long had it been now?​

I may have miscounted before; I was at work. Why browsing at work for new books to read? Heh, don't ask. But I'm too exhausted after typing that out to do another count...

The guy is on a battlefield, and I think this is an attempt to show his frantic, wandering mind.

If you open the preview up, you can see there are a LOT of large paragraphs and sentences. Author is fond of lots of "which" and "though," always modifying a thought with some additional phrasing. So reading it is...interesting. On the one hand, it seems very flabby. On the other, I wonder if I could let myself just roll with it and see how the story goes. The kindle version was listed as free for some reason, so I went ahead and downloaded and may give it a try out of sheer curiosity. (Link for the curious. Warning: Has a gay theme and/or romance, so if that bothers you, don't bother...)

I can't even shove my mind through that. But I'm recovering from an anxiety attack, though, so I'm not in prime mental condition.

 

[DragonOfTheAerie]

^yes, I had yet another anxiety attack

 

[TheCrystallineEntity]

^Super kitty hugs for you.

 

[DragonOfTheAerie]

^Super kitty hugs for you.

Kitty hugs help.

 

[FifthView]

While not completely incomprehensible, that genuinely lost my attention (and subject-predicate matching ability) halfway through. Two or three long sentences could have had the same effect... The style could certainly be read, I'd just hope the author put no really important information in the middle of a knot like that. Wonder if they had an editor.

My internal editor kept trying to revise it when I first read it, and this tripped me up more than anything.

 

[Brian Scott Allen]

@Nimue & BSA:

Ok, here it is. A guy is on a battlefield, contemplating his death (some smaller sentences before this. Also, technically, another whole introductory passage in italics.)

It started tame enough, with nothing more than a bullet in the head, quick and painless, though he reasoned someone with fortune enough to die from a bullet in the head hardly ever ended up in frontline infantry where there were mines to contend with, where the odds of stepping on a mine were considerably high--seeing as how two of his good friends, though not particularly good soldiers, had gone that way not hours ago--which could be reasonably painful depending on how his bodily pieces were divided by the explosion, but then he was almost sure he wasn't even lucky enough to go out in a "blaze of glory"--as they'd taken to calling it in an effort at making them all feel better about the prospect of being blown to bits--and more and more of his blood brothers had been giving it up to septic shock, which was common and likely enough, but far too morbidly humiliating for him to handle, and, anyway, he really had the sense he was going to bite it from something completely outrageous, unheard of, ridiculous, like choking on a chicken bone, but that was also too humiliating for him to handle, and completely unreasonable since they hadn't even seen a [f-ing] chicken in...how long had it been now?​

I may have miscounted before; I was at work. Why browsing at work for new books to read? Heh, don't ask. But I'm too exhausted after typing that out to do another count...

The guy is on a battlefield, and I think this is an attempt to show his frantic, wandering mind.

If you open the preview up, you can see there are a LOT of large paragraphs and sentences. Author is fond of lots of "which" and "though," always modifying a thought with some additional phrasing. So reading it is...interesting. On the one hand, it seems very flabby. On the other, I wonder if I could let myself just roll with it and see how the story goes. The kindle version was listed as free for some reason, so I went ahead and downloaded and may give it a try out of sheer curiosity. (Link for the curious. Warning: Has a gay theme and/or romance, so if that bothers you, don't bother...)

Not the worst sentence I have ever read. I actually kind of liked how it meandered, since he was dying and all. I personally wouldn't have written it, but that's more a style thing. Now, if the book was filled with stuff like this I would be totally bugged. But I kind of liked that. Might do that myself one day.