Thomas Laszlo
Mystagogue
I would live in the woodlands as a woodland elf XD
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I would live in the woodlands as a woodland elf XD
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buyjupiter
Scribal Lord
I'm pretty sure I'd be Eowyn. Just ask anyone who knows me if storming off to battle dressed as a man and swinging swords around sounds like me. (Spoiler alert: it does.)
Otherwise I'd be a mythical entwife. Or maybe Goldberry.
Saigonnus
Dark Lord
I would say a human ranger, going anywhere I please.
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DragonOfTheAerie
Istari
So I really love Krav Maga, but 1. I suck at it and 2. I'm not even a yellow belt yet so I feel like I can't say I'm "into martial arts." Like, idk if it's even a hobby at this point, although I'm obsessed. Do I even seem like a "martial arts person?" This has such a macho kind of aura surrounding it and I am, for the most part, small and cute and fond of fuzzy socks and overly sensitive and prone to crying about everything.
I feel like an obnoxiously slow learner at everything. I'm constantly forgetting everything I have learned. I also seem to be completely oblivious to the distinction between right and left, which I've heard is a kind of dyslexia...so, that's weird. How long does the "I have no idea what I am doing" stage last? Lol. This is why I write; I suck at everything else I try to do. Nothing to renew your self esteem like getting punched in the mouth by a thirteen year old!!
I actually got so frustrated today that I snapped at someone in my class and then when I got home I felt so bad about it I started crying in the shower. Please understand; there are so many assholes in the world, it's like my life's ambition to be as little of an asshole as possible, and it kills me whenever I do something slightly mean. Kills me.
On another note I have no idea how I stripped the skin off my knuckles this badly; I WAS WEARING GLOVES. Today I threw two punches and immediately gasped in pain because I'd spilt the scabs on my knuckles and started bleeding again. (It was better after I wore band-aids.)
(Reminds me of how annoying it is when people try to rationalize away my fear of needles. When I get cut or bleed in everyday life, I'm just like, Oh. Blood. Ouch. I ignore pain and blood more than I probably should sometimes. Needles are a whole other thing. One time I was in a class and we were doing blood typing kits (I'd opted out weeks ago) but everyone else was doing a finger prick and you can't even see the needle and I wasn't even doing it and I felt like I was about to pass out. It's bad. It's very bad. Everyone is like "It won't hurt that much!" And I'm like "Did I say I was afraid of pain? No! I'm afraid of NEEDLES.")
I feel like an obnoxiously slow learner at everything. I'm constantly forgetting everything I have learned. I also seem to be completely oblivious to the distinction between right and left, which I've heard is a kind of dyslexia...so, that's weird. How long does the "I have no idea what I am doing" stage last? Lol. This is why I write; I suck at everything else I try to do. Nothing to renew your self esteem like getting punched in the mouth by a thirteen year old!!
I actually got so frustrated today that I snapped at someone in my class and then when I got home I felt so bad about it I started crying in the shower. Please understand; there are so many assholes in the world, it's like my life's ambition to be as little of an asshole as possible, and it kills me whenever I do something slightly mean. Kills me.
On another note I have no idea how I stripped the skin off my knuckles this badly; I WAS WEARING GLOVES. Today I threw two punches and immediately gasped in pain because I'd spilt the scabs on my knuckles and started bleeding again. (It was better after I wore band-aids.)
(Reminds me of how annoying it is when people try to rationalize away my fear of needles. When I get cut or bleed in everyday life, I'm just like, Oh. Blood. Ouch. I ignore pain and blood more than I probably should sometimes. Needles are a whole other thing. One time I was in a class and we were doing blood typing kits (I'd opted out weeks ago) but everyone else was doing a finger prick and you can't even see the needle and I wasn't even doing it and I felt like I was about to pass out. It's bad. It's very bad. Everyone is like "It won't hurt that much!" And I'm like "Did I say I was afraid of pain? No! I'm afraid of NEEDLES.")
Malik
Scribal Lord
DOTA, I got my ass kicked at a boxing gym a few weeks back by a 14-year old. I'm 46. He got in a lucky punch and I spent the rest of the round just trying to stay vertical. Shit happens.
As for your knuckles, you have to let them scab over and then let the scabs fall off. When that happens, you'll have scars. Then do it again. And again. And again. Eventually the scar tissue builds up and they won't hurt anymore. That's how it is with everything in life.
Krav maga is full of idiots; it's one of the current McDojo flavors of the week and most instructors aren't even doing it right. If it's not working for you, find a martial art that resonates with you. Personally, I found that I enjoy boxing and judo. I enjoyed savate but I was terrible at it; I have short legs and super-long arms and anything that relies on sweeping kicks is a no-go for me. (Seriously; I have a 36 sleeve and a 29 inseam. I look like an orangutan.)
Judo is fun for me because it's a matter of gaining your opponent's confidence and then abusing it. And boxing is three-dimensional full-speed chess with immediate loss/reward. Your thing may not be Krav Maga, or boxing, or whatever. Your thing may end up being one of those flowing dancing-master arts with the ribbons and the aerial kicks where there's no contact. No judgment, here. Martial arts serve two confluent purposes: they make you harder to kill, which they do by making you feel more alive. If yours isn't doing one, then it sure as hell can't do the other.
As for your knuckles, you have to let them scab over and then let the scabs fall off. When that happens, you'll have scars. Then do it again. And again. And again. Eventually the scar tissue builds up and they won't hurt anymore. That's how it is with everything in life.
Krav maga is full of idiots; it's one of the current McDojo flavors of the week and most instructors aren't even doing it right. If it's not working for you, find a martial art that resonates with you. Personally, I found that I enjoy boxing and judo. I enjoyed savate but I was terrible at it; I have short legs and super-long arms and anything that relies on sweeping kicks is a no-go for me. (Seriously; I have a 36 sleeve and a 29 inseam. I look like an orangutan.)
Judo is fun for me because it's a matter of gaining your opponent's confidence and then abusing it. And boxing is three-dimensional full-speed chess with immediate loss/reward. Your thing may not be Krav Maga, or boxing, or whatever. Your thing may end up being one of those flowing dancing-master arts with the ribbons and the aerial kicks where there's no contact. No judgment, here. Martial arts serve two confluent purposes: they make you harder to kill, which they do by making you feel more alive. If yours isn't doing one, then it sure as hell can't do the other.
DragonOfTheAerie
Istari
Don't get me wrong. It's fun. It's a lot of fun, and that plus kickboxing amounts to a pretty good workout (which is a great thing when your brain is wired like mine.) Seriously, I never thought I would be involved in anything involving physical activity until this. (PE class in 5th grade poisoned me.) It seems that it's as much a mental discipline as physical (also a great thing with my brain wiring.) For me, anyway. I have to concentrate ungodly hard to piece more than one step of a combo together. So there may be some brain re-wiring going on, lol...although "You're thinking too hard" is something I get a lot now.
The knuckles aren't fun in the winter when my knuckles split from the cold anyway, so they don't as much scab over and heal as keep re-opening. Or when washing dishes. Ouch. (I can't say I like washing dishes anyway though.)
Another thing I learned today...My gag reflex and my mouth guard are none too compatible...I was body boxing and all I could think was, "Don't puke. Don't puke. Don't puke."
I don't know if I should give myself more grace (probably nearly always the case) or if I'm just not a natural. I make an idiot of myself a lot.
Some guy: "you new to this?"
Me: "been doing it for 4 months"
Some guy: "...Oh."
^literally a conversation I had
At least I can actually do a push-up now. (I couldn't quite say so several months ago.)
TheCrystallineEntity
Dark Lord
I used to be a blue belt in Karate. I stopped because I was tired of injuring myself, since I always pushed myself too hard to try to please other people [mainly my mum and my sensei].
I'd be a Valar. I'd roam Middle Earth helping whomever needed it.
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ATKH
Journeyman
Every time I think I'm over the fact that I couldn't continue boxing, I stumble upon a discussion on martial arts and immediately feel bad.
Two years ago, when I'd just moved to a new place but had plenty of spare time, I decided to join this boxing club not far from school. I'm perpetually broke, so it felt really nice to have a hobby with a yearly fee of about fifty euros. The first month or six-ish weeks were super nice, because I got to do all kinds of tough exercises as warm-up and punching a bag properly made my arms sore. After the initial "my arms hurt all the time" phase I was quick to learn new techniques - I soon had a pretty nice array of punches and managed to stay consistent with footwork.
This is where my greatest problem arose: I was the only girl at the club, so even though I saw guys who'd done a lot less than me get to spar with each other, there was no way anyone would raise a hand (glove) against me because a) getting beat up by a small girl would have been humiliating and b) beating up a small girl would have been humiliating. I tried to soldier on, but eventually dropped off the club before having to pay the membership fee.
Now I've moved to a place with a really decent boxing club nearby, but there is no way for me to join because on weekdays I am usually occupied by school and getting there from 4 am to 5 or 7 pm and spend what little free time I have sleeping and doing necessary housework. Plus this one would cost several hundred euros a year, which is way beyond my budget.
I keep telling myself that one day, when I have a job with money to spare and life is merry, I will return to boxing and/or rugby, the best two sports I've ever tried. But by then I will be old and out of shape.
/rant over
Two years ago, when I'd just moved to a new place but had plenty of spare time, I decided to join this boxing club not far from school. I'm perpetually broke, so it felt really nice to have a hobby with a yearly fee of about fifty euros. The first month or six-ish weeks were super nice, because I got to do all kinds of tough exercises as warm-up and punching a bag properly made my arms sore. After the initial "my arms hurt all the time" phase I was quick to learn new techniques - I soon had a pretty nice array of punches and managed to stay consistent with footwork.
This is where my greatest problem arose: I was the only girl at the club, so even though I saw guys who'd done a lot less than me get to spar with each other, there was no way anyone would raise a hand (glove) against me because a) getting beat up by a small girl would have been humiliating and b) beating up a small girl would have been humiliating. I tried to soldier on, but eventually dropped off the club before having to pay the membership fee.
Now I've moved to a place with a really decent boxing club nearby, but there is no way for me to join because on weekdays I am usually occupied by school and getting there from 4 am to 5 or 7 pm and spend what little free time I have sleeping and doing necessary housework. Plus this one would cost several hundred euros a year, which is way beyond my budget.
I keep telling myself that one day, when I have a job with money to spare and life is merry, I will return to boxing and/or rugby, the best two sports I've ever tried. But by then I will be old and out of shape.
/rant over
DragonOfTheAerie
Istari
I want a smoothie 
Thomas Laszlo
Mystagogue
I've never done serious boxing but I've done some at home.
I have never even seen rugby up close, what is it like??
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CupofJoe
Istari
Rugby has been described as "a game for hooligans played by Gentlemen" where as football [aka soccer] is "a game for gentlemen played by Hooligans".
When it's played well it can be full of grace and power.
Russ
Dark Lord
Rugby is awesome. I played prop for many years and it is a fantastic game. Tough, physical, calls for cardio and skill, lots of strategy and the after party is always good. Go Bokies!!!!
Brian Scott Allen
Dark Lord
I love watching Rugby. I think it is my third favorite sport to watch behind American Football and freestyle wrestling.
DragonOfTheAerie
Istari
Having a lot of social anxiety right now. I don't even know if it's social anxiety. What would you call it? At any rate I don't really feel like posting on the forums a lot of the time because the voices in my head say "you're just annoying everyone," "you're being a burden," "everyone here would rather not have you around."
I feel guilt about basically every interaction I have with other people because I'm not adhering to some standard of being a good person that's been created in my mind. Feel guilt for failing the techniques in Krav class, feel guilt for talking to my friends about stuff they probably aren't interested in, feel guilt about showing my friend a song she didn't like very much. I feel guilt about writing this. I feel like because I don't do all these things "right" I'm hurting/annoying/bothering other people and it's a terrible feeling.
You know, i really want to be the person that is there for everyone, but then it blows up in my face because everyone ends up having to be there for me. It's hard to call for help when you just feel even worse by burdening everyone with your problems.
And so I haven't been very comfortable posting lately because I hate posting questions and having everyone answer them, and I hate not being able to help people out with their stories...I want to give back to this community instead of just take-take-taking. Same with everything I do.
Generally I feel like a very high-maintenance person who is always being a problem and I really hate it.
Anyway. Vent over.
I feel guilt about basically every interaction I have with other people because I'm not adhering to some standard of being a good person that's been created in my mind. Feel guilt for failing the techniques in Krav class, feel guilt for talking to my friends about stuff they probably aren't interested in, feel guilt about showing my friend a song she didn't like very much. I feel guilt about writing this. I feel like because I don't do all these things "right" I'm hurting/annoying/bothering other people and it's a terrible feeling.
You know, i really want to be the person that is there for everyone, but then it blows up in my face because everyone ends up having to be there for me. It's hard to call for help when you just feel even worse by burdening everyone with your problems.
And so I haven't been very comfortable posting lately because I hate posting questions and having everyone answer them, and I hate not being able to help people out with their stories...I want to give back to this community instead of just take-take-taking. Same with everything I do.
Generally I feel like a very high-maintenance person who is always being a problem and I really hate it.
Anyway. Vent over.
Futhark
Master
Hey Dragon, I feel ya. Sounds like your self-esteem is wrapped up with the concept of being a people pleaser. I worked so hard to become independent and self-secure that besides my wife and kids I have no close friends at all. I am still insecure about posting though, because I think, who wants to hear from me? You should have seen my anxiety waiting for my first reply. Just know that even if you are high maintenance, there are always others that like lending a hand. I think a lot of them are on this forum so keep posting okay?
Russ
Dark Lord
I'm glad you got that out of your system.
Now go back to writing, and back to posting questions and comments around here. I like your posts.
Futhark
Master
Quick question, how do you quote parts of a thread?