TheCrystallineEntity
Dark Lord
^Basically, yes, but they like my weird sense of humor.
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Is This Too Gross?
- Thread starter psychotick
- Start date
- Thread starter
- #42
psychotick
Dark Lord
Hi Annoying,
Good points.
Not worried about her being pale because some people naturally are. It would only be those who saw her colouration change that would worry.
And as to the mind control, I'm thinking of it mostly as a chemical / instinctual sort of thing. She's lived with this thing inside her, growing, for years, and it has been slowly transforming her, making her immensely strong and tough. The blood becoming colourless is just the symbol of that. In scientific terms (remember this is an epic fantasy set in a medieval type world with the beginnings of steam power so I can't use most scientific terminology) I'd suggest she's under the influence of some form of hormonal action - some sort of bonding hormone that completely overpowers her ability to think of the parasite as anything other than her baby. But also it's medieval in setting (know knowledge of DNA etc), and as far as she knows she's had sex (she has no clear memories of the acts), so what else is she supposed to think other than she's pregnant? Also this creature is new to the world so she has no knowledge from society / history about it.
And yes this creature, is about to become a very grave danger to the world. The great beast which I'm calling a behemoth, is about to slowly destroy it, and the parasites which its laid in her and a great many other women on a great many other worlds are its servants. They're tough but killable, even when fully grown. The behemoth is not killable - it's half way to godhood - and not really intelligent.
Will google the MMO's you mentioned. Thanks.
Cheers, Greg.
Good points.
Not worried about her being pale because some people naturally are. It would only be those who saw her colouration change that would worry.
And as to the mind control, I'm thinking of it mostly as a chemical / instinctual sort of thing. She's lived with this thing inside her, growing, for years, and it has been slowly transforming her, making her immensely strong and tough. The blood becoming colourless is just the symbol of that. In scientific terms (remember this is an epic fantasy set in a medieval type world with the beginnings of steam power so I can't use most scientific terminology) I'd suggest she's under the influence of some form of hormonal action - some sort of bonding hormone that completely overpowers her ability to think of the parasite as anything other than her baby. But also it's medieval in setting (know knowledge of DNA etc), and as far as she knows she's had sex (she has no clear memories of the acts), so what else is she supposed to think other than she's pregnant? Also this creature is new to the world so she has no knowledge from society / history about it.
And yes this creature, is about to become a very grave danger to the world. The great beast which I'm calling a behemoth, is about to slowly destroy it, and the parasites which its laid in her and a great many other women on a great many other worlds are its servants. They're tough but killable, even when fully grown. The behemoth is not killable - it's half way to godhood - and not really intelligent.
Will google the MMO's you mentioned. Thanks.
Cheers, Greg.
Ireth
Mythic Scribe
Wait... this thing lives inside her for years? And the woman doesn't think it's fishy when she doesn't go into labor at nine months? No one else notices that she seems to be perpetually pregnant? Even if they assume she just hasn't lost the weight, I'm sure the local midwife would be suspicious at not being needed at some point. Or at the very least informed of a miscarriage. This is seriously straining my suspension of disbelief.
TheCrystallineEntity
Dark Lord
^How did I miss that part? Blehk! 
Annoyingkid
Master
Increasingly colourless blood would give her skin a distinctive grey tone. More grey than the sickest of people.
More grey than this: http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/736x/a1/a3/dd/a1a3dd808bbf58f2b3c713b1abfa1673.jpg
I can't see anyone standing for it once this phenomena becomes known.
Michael K. Eidson
Grandmaster
I love weird senses of humor too, but not superfluous nonsense. There's a difference.
I'll stop picking on you. It's just that your statement about your books having plenty of superfluous nonsense seemed rather random, and I didn't know how I was to learn anything from it. Was I to take the statement seriously, or was it an example of superfluous nonsense itself? Maybe it was meant to be the latter, an example of your weird sense of humor. If so, good one.
Michael K. Eidson
Grandmaster
As to the OP, I'd think the woman with the monster baby would have to remove herself from society if the scenario is to have a chance at working for me as a reader. And that's only for starters....
TheCrystallineEntity
Dark Lord
^^Sorry. I am usually random like that. Though in the middle of my first book, the main characters have a random 'I need to go on a quest to *insert blank*' game that ends with all of them laughing uproariously.
I wouldn't even read the book if it was anything like it seems to be now.
ushKee
Journeyman
I think this is an awesome idea psychotick. Very creative, and compelling as a plotline and a way to establish easy empathy with your main character. It gives me great horror film vibes in particular.
Whether it's too gross or not depends on what kind of audience you are marketing the book too. If you are marketing to your average fantasy reader on mythicscribes, maybe, but to a horror and horror fantasy audience it would work wonders.
Like other people have said, it also depends on how much gory details you have present. The concept of a parasite is inherently creepy, but would probably be only over-the-top disgusting if you get into the details of how it tears flesh away from the insides of the mother or how its teeth slice through the other unborn fetuses. Stuff like that.
Whether it's too gross or not depends on what kind of audience you are marketing the book too. If you are marketing to your average fantasy reader on mythicscribes, maybe, but to a horror and horror fantasy audience it would work wonders.
Like other people have said, it also depends on how much gory details you have present. The concept of a parasite is inherently creepy, but would probably be only over-the-top disgusting if you get into the details of how it tears flesh away from the insides of the mother or how its teeth slice through the other unborn fetuses. Stuff like that.
artsyChica
Acolyte
I don't think this premise would ruin a good read for me; it might even be one of those "I can't believe the writer went there even while I can't look away" works if done "right." Of course, doing it right is subjective, after all look at Stephen King - he writes some pretty twisted novels and he's a best seller.
TheCrystallineEntity
Dark Lord
Being on the best sellers list does not necessarily mean that a book is written well.
ushKee
Journeyman
Yes it does, at least to a certain extent. Publishers want a certain standard for their books, especially if they are going to advertise it enough so that it can be a bestseller.
Anyway, I'm not sure what your point is there. If a book sells well, and you enjoyed writing it, then why does it matter if it isn't "written well" (in whose opinion, anyway)? If appealing to disgust and horror is something that would make the book sell well I would suggest that psychotick go for it.
Anyway, I'm not sure what your point is there. If a book sells well, and you enjoyed writing it, then why does it matter if it isn't "written well" (in whose opinion, anyway)? If appealing to disgust and horror is something that would make the book sell well I would suggest that psychotick go for it.
- Thread starter
- #53
psychotick
Dark Lord
Hi,
Actually I was trying to go just for the straight horror aspect of it, and avoid the gross / disgusting part. Which is why I've written out part of it. Now the creature is just an otherworldly parasite slowly maturing in the woman. It lives sort of compressed inside her but since it's only partly of her world and mostly of another - which is why it appears ghostly - doesn't really make her look pregnant etc. Not until the end of course when becoming more of her world it becomes more solid and ends up ripping its way loose. She however, under the spell of the parasite's monster creator, thinks she is pregnant.
I'm also redeeming her at the end. She's a bad guy through the first half of the book, but once she's free she is going to be the saviour of the world - possibly at the expense of her own life, I haven't yet decided. She's not a POV character but she is a focus of the story, and I want to use her as such. I'll probably know in another week or so as it's going well. One hundred and forty K in now and flying.
Cheers, Greg.
Actually I was trying to go just for the straight horror aspect of it, and avoid the gross / disgusting part. Which is why I've written out part of it. Now the creature is just an otherworldly parasite slowly maturing in the woman. It lives sort of compressed inside her but since it's only partly of her world and mostly of another - which is why it appears ghostly - doesn't really make her look pregnant etc. Not until the end of course when becoming more of her world it becomes more solid and ends up ripping its way loose. She however, under the spell of the parasite's monster creator, thinks she is pregnant.
I'm also redeeming her at the end. She's a bad guy through the first half of the book, but once she's free she is going to be the saviour of the world - possibly at the expense of her own life, I haven't yet decided. She's not a POV character but she is a focus of the story, and I want to use her as such. I'll probably know in another week or so as it's going well. One hundred and forty K in now and flying.
Cheers, Greg.