Ch.2: "Trouble in Paradise" / Volcanic Paradise Island Arcadia

[Legendary Sidekick]

Kell-Pi replies, "I am the Marriage Counselor for Heph and Aphrodite."

Heph says, "Aphro for short."

Kell-Pi slaps the lame god in the face. "Your wife does not approve of that name. Refrain from using it."

Heph laughs. "Yes, dear." He tells Kell, "She's supposed to do that."

At the forge, Heph picks up a metal hammer glowing red from the heat of the forge. Kell notices it has the same aura as Hess' harmless fire.

He whispers something to Kell-Pi, earning another slap in the face. He says, "Getting hit might look stupid, even when it's painless. Helpful even. Now, if you two would kindly kneel, I'm gonna hit you both on the head. It'll look dumb, which is why I let my handmaiden slap me around in front of you. But you won't feel any pain. I think you'll like the feeling."

 

[tbgg]

Ch.2: "Trouble in Paradise" / Volcanic Paradise Island Arcadia

Kelleia

Kell exclaims to Kell-Pi, "Because when you were activated, things started to get better between Heph and Aphrodite!" She grins in delight.

Gazing curiously at Heph's hammer, Kell obliges to the request by kneeling. Taking a slightly unsteady breath, she prepares herself mentally for the hammer's blow.


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[Legendary Sidekick]

*BONK*

The blow is painless, as promised. Heph explains, "Your knowledge of steel and how things work is a little better than it was. Or maybe a lot better. Maybe I should've tested you first. Well... hopefully, you'll notice the improvement."


((Kell's melee attacks are now improved [#2d6+1].
Kell can use technology without penalty [#2d6].))

 

[tbgg]

Kelleia

Kell tilts her head as a few new ideas come to her about fighting in battle. "Huh," she says wonderingly. "Neat hammer, Heph."

She asks Kell-Pi, "Are Heph and Aphrodite the only ones you're suited to counsel, or could you counsel ANY couple?"


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[Legendary Sidekick]

The silver maiden replies, "I have counseled Heph and Aphrodite for 21 years. I am qualified to counsel other couples."

She gives Heph an inquisitive look.

Heph says, "No slapping. Except me."

She slaps him.

Heph nods. "That's a good girl."

"Yes, I am qualified. Why do you inquire?"

 

[tbgg]

Kelleia

Kell tells Kell-Pi, "Well, I'm not having a relationship problem, really, but I do have a question about something that relates to marriage. Could we speak privately?"

Then she shifts her gaze to the lame inventor god. "Assuming, of course, that Heph can spare us for a few moments?"


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[Legendary Sidekick]

Heph says, "Knock your socks off. Take a break, have your girl talk. We can discuss other business when you're ready."

Kell-Pi leads Kelleia to a room with several books and a sofa. She invites Kell to sit and talk.

 

[tbgg]

Kelleia

Kell fidgets a bit, not exactly sure how to ask what she wants to know. Finally, gathering her thoughts, she says, "I'm going to start with a little background information because I think it will help you understand WHY I'm asking this."

"I attended Aphrodite's villa in Nyse, and I don't know if you hear about these things anywhere else in the world, but at least there in Nyse, the orgies that go on at the villa are near legendary. Part of the problem, in my opinion, is that Aphrodite tells the nymphs that orgies aren't allowed, but when they happen, she never punishes anyone, she just tells them not to do it again. On top of that, there are those advanced sex moves classes that are offered, and while there aren't very many students who are accepted for those and the application process seems to be geared toward accepting only the more responsible nymphs, somehow those nymphs that DO get accepted into the class always wind up teaching what they're learning to all the nymphs who didn't get in, and the orgies are where the nymphs like to practice these moves. As a result, there's a lot of talk about nymph sexuality that goes on." Then she looks at Kell-Pi and says, "But I never attended even a single orgy when I was there. I didn't much care for the nymphs who were the most into that scene, and I just didn't feel ready for it. As a result, I'm less knowledgeable about nymph sexuality than maybe I should be." She blushes, feeling her cheeks become warm.

"At any rate," she continues, "there's a guy I met yesterday whose life I helped to save after his creepy boss who worked for the lava demon tried to kill him. The guy I met is named Vin, and if the footmaidens find my unicorn and bring everyone who fought against the demon here, he'll be with that crew. Vin and I have very rapidly developed feelings for each other, and I kinda have the sense he's the man I'm going to marry, though I don't know when. The thing is, I'm a bounty hunter, and I know nymphs are always 'in season' and can have human children with human men. My job is too dangerous for me to risk getting pregnant, though I don't think I'll be chasing bad guys forever. Vin and I won't sleep together until we're married, but I'm curious if there's a way I can prevent pregnancy from happening, which might allow us to get married while I'm still working as a bounty hunter, or if I'll need to quit my job before I get married."

She looks at Kell-Pi again and blushes. "Does my question make sense?"


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[Ireth]

Leto

Leto looks on curiously as Heph bonks Kell over the head with his hammer, and stays quiet as Kell asks for a chat with Kell-Pi. When the two head off to talk in private, Leto kneels carefully for her turn under the hammer. Will she get similar benefits?

 

[Legendary Sidekick]

By the Forge
*BONK*

((Leto can use melee attacks without penalty. [#2d6]
Her ability to use technology is advanced. [#2d6+1].))



On the Sofa
Kell-Pi replies, "I do not understand why you do not want to bear a child."

Her mechanical eyes stare into Kell's.

"I can never have this. I lack the function to reproduce, though I have a mating part. Maybe my lack of understanding is because you can do what I cannot.

"However, I have some understanding of your anatomy. Your body is unaging. The egg in your womb does not age. Your human male ages. You will live for over one hundred years and look as you do while you watch your loved one grow old. You will bear one child, unless you have two or more children in one pregnancy. If you prevent the pregnancy, the result may be that you can never have a child. Your womb cannot produce an additional egg.

"Your child will be human. If you have a daughter, she may have some qualities of a nymph. Odorless sweat, optimal body proportions, and an inability to produce eggs. If you have a son, he will also have optimal proportions and will have a lower amount of body hair and flatulance compared to the average male.

"Aphrodite was the only nymph ever able to become pregnant more than once. She did so by tampering with her body until her sixth pregnancy, diring which she experienced a malfunction resulting in a son whose body is 72.2% female. She and Hermes divorced, and Aphrodite refuses to have a child with Heph. This led to marital problems that lasted over one thousand centuries.

"Please take 5.8 seconds to process this information."

The maiden's metal face cannot express empathy, so she gently places her hands on Kell's.

"My advice is to take time off from bounty hunting after you wed. Marry while the male is still young, have his child, then choose to reconvene your bounty hunting career. I am named after you. I feel honored by this and will help you if you need me. If you need someone to watch your child while you work, approach me. You will need someone to watch your child, and I can never raise my own; therefore..."

She pauses.

"Sorry. We have just met. My mind is designed to think several moves in advance and seek the solution that is most mutually beneficial. If I have overstepped by bounds, kindly accept my apology."

 

[Ireth]

Leto

Leto blinks as the hammer strikes her head; she feels the impact, but no pain at all. It's hard to get a handle on what it did to her; she supposes she'll just have to test her skills to see if she gets the same benefits as Kell. "Thank you very much, sir."

 

[tbgg]

Kelleia

Kell exclaims, flustered, "No, Kell-Pi, it is not that I do not wish to EVER have a child, I simply do not wish to have one while I am a bounty hunter, due to the risk to the child. After I am done being a bounty hunter, I would gladly have one." Then she cover the hand Kell-Pi placed on her own. "I thank you for your kind offer, though. I may even have reason to take you up on it some day."

Kell thinks, 'She probably responded to what I said instead of what I meant. Probably a hazard of conversing with a machine.'


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[Legendary Sidekick]

On the Sofa
Kell-Pi says, "I see. I was responding in part to your question about preventing pregnancy. I feared you would make a mistake that other nymphs often make, such as those who partake in orgies. I thought you were unaware that, unlike a human woman, you have one egg. Yours will last approximately 79.6 more years or until you engage in sexual intercourse, at which time the chance of pregnancy will exceed 99.99%.

"Any attempt to prevent a pregnancy may contaminate or destroy your egg. Humans have several methods, but human women can produce one or more eggs per month. I wanted to make sure you were aware of this so you would not make an irreversible error. My answer to you was incomplete, but the issue is complicated so I prioritized multiple concerns for your multi-faceted predicament, and chose to address this. Was my choice incorrect?"


By the Forge
"It's not every day I get thanked for hitting people with my hammer," says Heph. "On days like this, it's good to be me."

 

[Ireth]

Leto

Leto laughs as she gets to her feet. "It is a weird thing to do, isn't it? At least you're helping people with it rather than hurting them. That makes the difference." She wonders if Thor's hammer would do something similar, or if it's strictly for beating the daylights out of enemies.

 

[tbgg]

Kelleia

Kell tells Kell-Pi, "I did not realize I had only one egg or that I can expect to get pregnant the first time I consummate my marriage with my husband. That is important information for me to have, so thank you for telling me. How long does a nymph's pregnancy last, on average, if she mates with a human male? Strange as it may sound, I have never seen a pregnant nymph before, though I knew of course that we can get pregnant."


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[Legendary Sidekick]

On the Sofa
"I suspected this to be the case after analyzing what you said. There is a 97.2% chance that you have been heavily influenced by humans who were closer to you than most or all nymphs in your formative years. Most nymphs do not wish to become pregnant, so they take preventative measures, which tend to have permanent effects even if this is not the intent.

"You also asked if you should quit bounty hunting before consummating your marriage, but quitting does not need to be permanent. You can take two or more years off, and approach me or a trusted responsible adult to care for your child. You may decide not to continue with your bounty hunting career because of the child. There is a 94.8% chance you will choose a career less likely to result in your untimely demise once you become a mother."

Kell-Pi stares at Kell silently for a moment.

"I hope you are finding this conversation to be educational and helpful."

She hesitates a little more.

"Vin. Is he good to you?"

 

[Legendary Sidekick]

By the Forge
Heph asks Leto, "What do you know of Artemis?"

 

[Ireth]

Leto

Leto shrugs. "Not as much as others in this part of the world. I know she's a virgin goddess of the hunt, and one of Zeus' daughters. She likes the company of nymphs, and she was in love with a woman named Callisto."

She pauses, wondering if she's said too much. Artemis' relationships are her own business, aren't they? Then again, it was spoken about freely on the Hearthvision, which may well be widely known...

 

[tbgg]

Kelleia

Kell tells Kell-Pi, "Yes, I am. Though you didn't tell me how long a nymph's pregnancy typically lasts."

When Kell-Pi asks about Vin, Kell blushes again. "Well, we did only just meet yesterday, but so far he's been great. He told me he would wait 100 dates to kiss me if I wanted him to, and when I tested my nymph effect earlier this morning by removing my clothing to see in front of everyone who fought the lava demon to see if it seemed like a good tool to use in the fight against the Lava Demon's henchmen, he didn't lose control of himself. He's thoughtful and considerate. And he doesn't make a lot of creepy suggestive comments like a lot of the men who hung out with the nymphs at the villa. And Helix, the unicorn Aphrodite assigned to work with me, approves of him, and he's pushing me to not sleep around until I marry."

 

[Legendary Sidekick]

By the Sofa
"You are in a healthy relationship, I believe. I hope to meet this Vin.

"As for pregnancy, it will normally last approximately 40 weeks. Some nymphs have been known to carry multiple children, though bearing more than two at once may result in death while giving birth. But do not fear. The chance of carrying triplets is less than 0.01%, and it is possible to survive the birth. Only one nymph died in labor within our lifetime. Aphrodite came to me for assistance through her grieving period."


By the Forge
Heph says, "She has a device that you may be able to operate, assuming I hit you in the right part of the head. I'm talking about the moon, of course. Everyone and his brother thinks it's a big, round rock. I don't know why anyone would assume something so ridiculous. Sounds like something a 'round-worlder' would say.

"Know what the moon really is?"