Ch.2: "Trouble in Paradise" / Volcanic Paradise Island Arcadia

[Legendary Sidekick]

Aw, shucks, Helix replies to Leto. Well, Aphrodite did bless me with the intelligence of a typical human male, but strong mi—

Or are you bullshitting me? I hope not, 'cause bulls don't shit rainbows. Unicorns do. Remember that. And also, while you're in my brain, do me a favor and find a way to make me stop projecting thoughts about what color I shit.

All of them.

Dammit.

 

[Ireth]

Leto

Leto smothers more laughter. No, I'm not bullshitting you. If you didn't have a strong mind we wouldn't be in this mess. Sadly I don't think I can help with your thoughts, though. Embarrassment colors her thoughts.

 

[tbgg]

Kelleia

Kell calls up to the van Donk sisters, "Leto's down here, or rather her consciousness is. I think she must have tried to beast-speak the dolphin/unicorn and either her abilities don't work with these creatures or else something went wrong. I've not seen her faint before, but I've only seen her beast-speak once. As long as her body is still breathing, I think you can let her be. She'll be back up there when she can."

Kell blinks as she tries to take in everything that Helix just told her. Finally she says, "Look, I don't know if you know this, but I just made a decision a little bit ago to stop worshipping Aphrodite. There are several reasons for that, and it would take me a while to explain them all. But if Aphrodite thinks there's something special about me, she needs to tell me that herself. When I left the villa six months ago, she was spending fully two-and-a-half days of every week having beauty treatments done. If she wants me to know that, she can give some of that up to come find me and tell me herself. As for staying pure, I'm not giving myself to anyone until I know they see me for who I am and that they love me for that person, not what I look like. I thought long and hard about having a crazy affair just to spite Aphrodite. But during my journey I met someone who a second party pretended to be interested in to spite a third person and I saw all of the hurt it caused. So no matter how much I might like to sleep around and rub my right to make my own decisions in Aphrodite's face, it can't be at the expense of hurting someone else for the sake of spiting her. If I do that, I become just like Aphrodite, and I WON'T do that."

At Helix's talk of rainbow-color poop, Kell stifles her desire to laugh. Why do men of ALL species have to be so totally artless when it comes to defecating and reproducing? Is it hard-wired into them or something?

 

[Legendary Sidekick]

Helix continues to project his thoughts. To Leto: Well, I just hope you're only getting the thoughts that turn into words. You didn't catch me undressing a female unicorn with my eyes, did you? Because that would embarrass me. The worst part is, it's just some guy in a hat taking a saddle off her back. It doesn't really do anything for me, yet I keep having this picture playing in my head.

Then to Kell: I don't care who you worship. Aphrodite didn't send me here so you can hop on my back and go to church. Besides, there's always orgies going on there. She's trying to keep you away from that.

You're wrong about her motives though. It's not about control. Well, maybe it is. She likes to say such and such happened because she wiggled her butt and made it so. But she and Heph are in a good place now, and have been for the last twenty-odd years. You hatched around the time she wanted to change her ways, and Artemis was hanging out in Nyse getting naked with a bunch of nymphs. Virgin Goddess, my ass! Anyway, they were checking out your egg or shell or whatever and got to talking.

Ain't none of my business what they were talking about, but I think Aphrodite wanted you to be different from her. She wanted you to be the way she was—the way she's trying to be now. If you want my advice, don't worship her. Just make peace with her, and follow the yellow brick road.

Isn't that a metaphor for The Path That Your Heart Desires? Maybe it isn't. Well, what do I know about metaphors? I'm a rainbow-shitting horse.

Oh. Thanks a lot for stifling that one, Leto!

 

[tbgg]

Kelleia

Kell squints her eyes and looks at Helix for a moment. "So why are you here, then?"

 

[Legendary Sidekick]

Helix replies, At the moment, giving you a ride.

He thinks to Leto, Wanna feel what it's like to swim as a dolphin, brain-girl?

 

[tbgg]

Kelleia

And did I forget to say uncommunicative? Why do men have to be so uncommunicative?

"Alright, let's ride, then." And she grasps onto Helix's dorsal fin.

 

[Legendary Sidekick]

Blonde Sonja giggles in delight as she struggles to keep up with the unicorn dolphin.

"Kell, you are full of surprises! I thought it was a shark, not a dolphin-unicorn thing! What's her name?"

Bridgette is holding Nissa and Hess so they can watch Kell speed ahead of the boat on her new dolphin-unicorn thing.

Nissa says, "So we just… don't wake Leto then?"

Hanna is cradling Leto in her arms. She asks Nissa, "Then what do I do with her?"

Mibbles says, "There's a cot in the emergency room, ma'am."

 

[tbgg]

Kelleia

Kell calls to Sonja, "His name is Helix, and he's an emissary of Aphrodite. And at the moment, he's giving me a ride."

And she gives a happy cry of freedom as she flies through the water with Helix. "Wooooooooooo!"

 

[Ireth]

Leto

Leto doesn't really have a choice but to ride along with Helix and Kell, and she laughs along with her nymph friend as they speed through the water. At least her body shouldn't come to harm. But how long is this going to last? What if she's stuck in Helix's head for hours, or days?

 

[Legendary Sidekick]

Our heroines enjoy a wet and wild ride across the sea. At one point, Sonja says, "You have fun, Kell!" The mermaid swims toward the boat to talk to her sisters, and Helix stops swimming at mere mermaid speed. He swims as fast as a dolphin can!

Leto sees the water whipping by through the dolphin's eyes. She can feel Kell hanging onto Helix's dorsal fin. Her weight is enough to feel the presence of a rider, but Kell's weight does not feel significant. She doesn't seem to hinder Helix's ability to swim so fast.

Once ashore, Helix becomes a unicorn. Somehow, the morphing does not topple Kell. It seems her lessons on grace and poise have somehow prepared her to remain seated properly on a shape-shifting mount. She even finds herself able to choose between the side-saddle position most nymphs prefer, or a straddling position that is generally more suitable for riding.


I think we better wait for sleeping beauty's physical half, that and the goddess you two are supposed to be babysitting.

Kell, I hope you enjoyed the ride, 'cause that can be the first of many. You and I can be a team: hero and sidekick. A sidekick riding side-saddle on her heroic horned horse! Or maybe I can be the sidekick and you can be the hero. A dynamic duo either way!

As for the answers you keep trying to get from everyone but Aphrodite, get them from the source. When you're ready to go to Nyse, you gotta have a nice chat with Aphrodite. That won't be today, so take the time to know me better. Maybe you need to build some trust with me before we go galloping off to the villa you ran off from. Until then, you'll have to take me at my word. I ain't forcing choices on you. I'm here to help.

Well, and I'll admit I've also been asked to keep you from getting knocked up. I'll let Leto explain this one, and I mean when she's outta my head and you two are nowhere near me. Leto bleeds every month in a way you nymphs don't. Sorry, Leto. I have a human male mind that makes saying this as awkward for me as you hearing me say it. Maybe more awkward for me, so I'm begging--don't discuss! Just trust me when I say that as a nymph, Kell, you're fertile until you're pregnant, and that's as far as I'm gonna explain.

I don't go around making rainbows in public, so you spare my typical-guy mind of having to be around for any lady talk you and Leto may or may not have. Suffice to say, monster hunting is not recommended if you're pregnant or think you might be.


Despite his somewhat flustered state, Helix stands handsomely on the Arcadian shore. The nymph and her steed draw the attention of beach-goers. They stare in awe but keep their distance. Kell's tight clothing is starting to dry in the mid-morning sun...

 

[tbgg]

Kelleia

Kell asks, "How far are we from where the ferry docks? And is there a place I can have a little privacy to adjust my clothes? I left my staff back on the ferry."

About the whole pregnancy thing, Kell decides she'll ask Leto about that later. When her friend has her body back.

 

[Legendary Sidekick]

Grab hold of my mane! Helix projects. One private changing area coming up!

Helix gallops across the beach, creating splashes that give Arcadian viewers a blue-green silhouette of a unicorn and shapely rider. He turns to an uphill path, and within minutes Kell and her steed are surrounded by palm trees and orchids in full bloom.

I have a knack for finding beautiful places with no men. If you an Leto ever wanna hang out and do whatever ladies do when guys aren't around, just ask. I can take two riders. I mean, depending on the two. That big amazon that asked the mermaid about punching me—she rides alone. And preferably, not on me.

 

[tbgg]

Kelleia

Kell tells Helix, "You have some pretty useful abilities, I'll grant you that. Yes, I think getting to know each other better would be fine. Why don't you help us with this lava monster here on Arcadia?"

Then she steps behind one of the orchid bushes, and after making sure there are no humanoids within sight, removes her hair scrunchy, then puts it back on, this time imagining bright orange leggings down to her mid-calf, black riding boots with white stones in the design of a dolphin on the outside of the left boot, white stones in the design of a unicorn on the outside of the right boot, and a bright turquoise blue chiton down to her mid-thigh with a sleeves that taper down to her mid forearm and a belt with alternating stones of black and white. If Kell is going to ride, she wants to ride, not do the namby-pamby sidesaddle thing.

Stepping out from the orchid bushes, she shows Helix the designs on either side of her boots and asks him, "Well, what do you think of this outfit? Do I look ready for riding, or what? I was thinking I'd call the boots my Helix boots."

 

[Legendary Sidekick]

Kell's POV
Helix checks out the outfit. Though his expression is similar to that of a guy checking her out, Helix assures Kell, I really am just checking out the outfit. I love it, and I'm honored at the name of the boots. What do you think Leto? Uh… Leto?

As Helix quiets his thought awaiting Leto's reply, some high pitched giggles can be heard in one of the treetops.



Leto's POV
Hess shouts, "She's awake!"

Leto finds herself on a cot. Next to her is a heavyset elderly woman in a white fairy costume with a red plus sign on it.

Nissa says to the fairy-woman nurse, "Looks like our friend won't need that shot after all, Healy McGoo."

Healy McGoo walks away with a large needle, mumbling a string of curse words.

Hess says, "Healy McGoo sure says a lot of grown-up words for a healer fairy!"

Once Leto leaves the emergency room, she finds the Fairy Boat is already docked, and most of the passengers have already disembarked. The van Donk sisters are on the deck, except Sonja, who is lying on the beach in human form. Her sea shell top and wrap skirt leave plenty of skin exposed so she can work on her tan.

 

[Ireth]

Leto

Leto is quiet as Helix gallops through the water and up the beach just enjoying the ride and the view through his eyes. Then she blinks and wakes up in her own body back on the fairy boat. A woman dressed somewhat like Buck's fairy healers stands above her with a syringe. The needle gleams in the light, looking very like a thin silver fang. She shudders involuntarily, and relaxes when Healy McGoo is out of sight.

She smiles at Hess. "Sorry if my fainting scared you. I'm not sure how that happened. Being inside a unicorn's head is fun, though!"

 

[tbgg]

Kelleia

Kell glances up at the sound of the giggling, searching the treetops for the source of the sound. What's up there?

Kelleia:2D6 → 7(6 +1)#Perception check - what's up in the tree?

 

[Legendary Sidekick]

On the Fairy Boat
Hess says, "A unicorn's head? What were you doing in there?"

Before Leto can answer, Mibbles interrupts. "What're you still doing on board?"

Kringle says, "Kindly exit the ramp. We gotta stick to our merry schedule. Meeerrrrrryyyy Schedullllle! HO HO HO!"



At the Palm Orchid
Kell sees two tiny heads peek out from between palm fronds. The fairies are bare-shouldered, and judging by their reluctance to come out any further, it may be more than shoulders that are bare.

The brown-haired fairy is blushing. The black-haired fairy has a confident look. "I know you came here for privacy. We were here first." She smiles at Kell.

 

[tbgg]

Kelleia

Kell says, "Oh we're just about done here, so we'll be out of your hair soon, but I'm wondering if you could answer a couple of questions for me. Do either of you know a fairy named Phoebe? If so, do you know where I might find her? If not, can you at least point me in the direction of the fairy springs? I understand she hangs out there quite a bit."

 

[Legendary Sidekick]

The same fairy replies, "I'm actually glad you came, Miss Nymph. Something about your presence got Shelly to come out of her shell!"

"Steph!" Shelly scolds. She says to Kell, "There's an information booth by the docks. You can find a map to the Fairy Springs and more."

"We're just vacationing here," Steph says. "But if you're looking for a fairy, you can probably find her at the springs."

"Unless she doesn't wanna be found," Shelly adds.

"Why wouldn't she?"

"You heard the warning about big people." Shelly looks down at Kell. "Um… no offense."