Enthods
Acolyte
I'm writing an action sequence right now and its only been 1500 words. When I write my actions become watered down and to fast. I need help with how to do this correctly.
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How to action?
- Thread starter Enthods
- Start date
CupofJoe
Istari
If you have an author that you think does action sequences well, re-read their work and see how they do it. You don't have to copy it but you can see their structures and how they pace and frame the story.
I'm a bit old school [or just plain old] so I like David Gemmel's way of dealing with action. He takes a big scene/event and focuses in on one person at a time and how their battle goes for them.
So it's not namesless-horde v namesless-horde but a person fighting against their own fears and failings.
In one story he gave us a pair of friends, one a born warrior and the other a born farmer and showed how they differed as the battles raged around them. You ended up cheering for the farmer because he wouldn't give in and tried all the harder, just so he wouldn't let down his warrior friend.
I'm a bit old school [or just plain old] so I like David Gemmel's way of dealing with action. He takes a big scene/event and focuses in on one person at a time and how their battle goes for them.
So it's not namesless-horde v namesless-horde but a person fighting against their own fears and failings.
In one story he gave us a pair of friends, one a born warrior and the other a born farmer and showed how they differed as the battles raged around them. You ended up cheering for the farmer because he wouldn't give in and tried all the harder, just so he wouldn't let down his warrior friend.
Feo Takahari
Dark Lord
The usual advice for action scenes is to make them quick, even choppy, to show that the characters are moving quickly and don't have much time to think. If you're making them too quick, maybe you could focus in on moments? A brief description of blood on a fist, a momentary scream, a glimpse of rage on someone's face, all the things your characters see in fragments as they flail and dodge.
Or maybe, if your POV character is hardened and thinks nothing of violence, they won't panic at all. Instead, you could make the scene cold and harsh, giving a matter-of-fact description of what they're doing. Your readers will fill in their emotions where the POV character lacks any, and it'll create a sense of wrongness and alienation.
Edit: now that I think about it, there's also the possibility of a POV character who's white-hot with rage, taking joy in bringing down a hated foe. You've got what amounts to an empty canvas, and there are a lot of ways to fill it.
Or maybe, if your POV character is hardened and thinks nothing of violence, they won't panic at all. Instead, you could make the scene cold and harsh, giving a matter-of-fact description of what they're doing. Your readers will fill in their emotions where the POV character lacks any, and it'll create a sense of wrongness and alienation.
Edit: now that I think about it, there's also the possibility of a POV character who's white-hot with rage, taking joy in bringing down a hated foe. You've got what amounts to an empty canvas, and there are a lot of ways to fill it.
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BWFoster78
Mythic Scribe
I've always found that posting the scene (either to the Showcase or to somewhere like Scribophile) is the best way to get answers to questions like this. It's hard for us to know exactly what you're doing wrong without reading the scene.
Don't get me wrong, if you've never submitted anything for critique, it's a horrible, terrible, soul-crushing experience. But, imo, it'll help you get better faster than anything else that I know of.
Addison
Dark Lord
Action sequences are supposed to be fast. Whether you read them in a book or see them on a screen, action/battle is fast. It's heart racing, book clenching, breath hissing over your teeth fast.
But when it comes to action scenes (and this is just me) I find you really need to find out what sequences need to be described in detail and which can be summarized or cut out. Do we need to feel the character's muscles scream and ache as they flip like Nightwing through the rafters away from the archers? Is it necessary for us to be right there at the character's shoulder as he's pushing his sword against his enemy's? Do we need to hear every clang of mace against shield or bang of a gun?
Once you find that out remember to use short sentences and little description. Describing the kind of bow or technique of the Bruce Lee-rip off will slow the scene down. Unless the character is ducked behind a shelf hoping he/she has reception to call back up, only describe what's necessary. If you still think the sequence is going too fast, or too slow then;
For too slow: look at the long paragraphs and either shorten them or break them into more than one paragraph.
For too fast: The opposite of the above. Put paragraphs or sentences together.
But when it comes to action scenes (and this is just me) I find you really need to find out what sequences need to be described in detail and which can be summarized or cut out. Do we need to feel the character's muscles scream and ache as they flip like Nightwing through the rafters away from the archers? Is it necessary for us to be right there at the character's shoulder as he's pushing his sword against his enemy's? Do we need to hear every clang of mace against shield or bang of a gun?
Once you find that out remember to use short sentences and little description. Describing the kind of bow or technique of the Bruce Lee-rip off will slow the scene down. Unless the character is ducked behind a shelf hoping he/she has reception to call back up, only describe what's necessary. If you still think the sequence is going too fast, or too slow then;
For too slow: look at the long paragraphs and either shorten them or break them into more than one paragraph.
For too fast: The opposite of the above. Put paragraphs or sentences together.
X Equestris
Scribal Lord
What sort of action sequence are we talking about? A bar brawl between ten or less people is a totally different beast from a pitched battle between forces numbering in the thousands, for instance. And what sort of weapons or armors are involved? Fights involving guns tend to be a bit different than writing totally melee combat.
As the others have said, action scenes are supposed to be fast paced. Adding sensory details can help you thicken it up and provide imagery if necessary. In bigger fights you can give your viewpoint character a momentary respite to take stock of the battlefield, though you'll want to keep them rather brief.
As the others have said, action scenes are supposed to be fast paced. Adding sensory details can help you thicken it up and provide imagery if necessary. In bigger fights you can give your viewpoint character a momentary respite to take stock of the battlefield, though you'll want to keep them rather brief.