So you want to write a really bad fantasy novel, eh?
You’ve come to the right place. After years of practice, I’ve mastered five ancient techniques for writing shitty fantasy. These methods were pioneered by the elves of the Ethereal Empire during the reign of Xerxian Rhafstorr the Sword-Breaker (in the Twelfth Age), so you know they’re good.
Just read on, and you’ll be writing the Ishtar of fantasy novels in no time.
Brian Wood’s first novel, Dreamworld, has been described as witty, clever and humorous. I recently chatted with Brian about his novel, as well as the challenge of balancing humor and drama in a fantasy story.
How did you become interested in writing fantasy?
In the sixth grade my brother Drew gave me a copy of The Eye of The World by Robert Jordan, and I was hooked for life. As for writing, it wasn’t until a few years ago that I became interested in possibly writing a fantasy novel of my own. After a few months and a couple of interesting reads, a truly unique idea literally dropped into my head while I was at a Mexican resort with my wife. After that, I had no choice but to write my series. Otherwise, the idea would have burnt a hole inside of me. It just happens that Dreamworld, my debut novel, was the first piece of writing (of any kind) that I ever wrote that was longer than ten pages.
There are many components to a good novel. An intriguing plot, relatable characters, suitable setting, fluent prose – to name but a few. And also suspense. To keep a reader, you need them to want to know what is going to happen next. You need them to have this constant curiosity, this yearning to find out how characters deal with their problems – or make new obstacles.
There are two ways to go about this. The first is to have a vague and mysterious prologue. A character wakes up on a beach with no memory of their life before that moment, or they have a premonition or strange dream, or the villain gives his right hand man a vague yet sinister instruction. Sometimes it works. Often it falls flat. Why?
What does fantasy writing have in common with the culinary arts?
One of my guilty pleasures is watching BBC’s Kitchen Nightmares with host Gordon Ramsey. In each episode Chef Ramsey visits a restaurant on the brink of ruin, and attempts to salvage it. In most cases the restaurant features a chef who is highly trained and talented. Yet it is this very same chef who is responsible for the restaurant’s failure.
In one episode Chef Ramsey visits a French restaurant in Scotland. The head chef was a rising star in his native France, where he studied with the masters. So why was his current restaurant in dire straights?
Because his entrees were far too complex.