Codey Amprim 
You know, there was always something that really irked me about Star Wars. Through all of the battles, duels, and reconstructions of planetary annihilation devices, the audience is never directly told what the rebels are, erm, rebelling against. The galaxy is decimated, legends are born and snuffed out across the board with unimaginable death tolls, … Read more
There are creatures whose hunger knows no satisfaction. These creatures intend to fulfill this hunger with insatiable abandon. Once they acquire someone – or something – to host them, the party is sure to go long, and make a nasty mess. And, no, it isn’t your 20 year old son living in your basement. But … Read more
The players gather around a dimly lit table that illuminates the soft haze that carries the musk of stogies and scotch. One by one they sit, only the green felt of the table reflecting from their eyes. The chips are distributed. The stage has been set. The game begins. A total beginner can sit down … Read more
Being naturally drawn to mythology and the Reniassance Festival as a wee kiddo really paved the way for my geekiness as an adult (no way, really?). And it was only a matter of time before I laid my eyes upon this fantastic creature.
At first, I wasn’t sure what it was, but upon the shields of heraldry they stood, mighty-chested and with talons raised high. Looked like pissed off chicken-dragons to me.
And – to 10 year old me – they were badass.
The sound of steel clashing against steel rings in the distance. Smoke billows into the air, carrying the horrid stench of the battlefield. Through the fluttering tent entrance a muddied, bloodied, messenger runs in.
“Commander, we have their fortress surrounded…”
The commander rises from his plush, velvet seat, and adjusts his belt.
“Splendid!” he exclaims. “Storm the keep! Take no prisoners!”
“Erm, that’s all right and good, but, milord, if I may – “
“No time, we must swarm them now!” he shouts as he slams his hands down upon the table, chicken legs bouncing up.
You can keep your Excaliburs, your Brisingrs, your Glamdrings, and, yes, your lightsabers. I need a weapon that’s going to put some hair on my chest, allow me to converse with bears, send a wet streak down my foe’s leg, and, well, practically speaking, take out that knight in full plate and chain.
Ladies and gentlemen, I require a mace for his face – a hammer for his yammer – a flail for his mail – mauls for his… You get the point.
Every hero nowadays has a big, glowing sword of some sort, and it is true that the sword has become a popular staple with the image of a knight-in-shining-armor. The same knight that your pro/antagonists might be struggling to defeat.
“Wake up, Guardian!”
Everything’s a little fuzzy. You can almost feel your toes. It’s like you’ve been laying on a pile of rocks for years. Then Peter Dinklage beckons again.
“Wake up!”
“Huh?” you incoherently babble. “What are – where am – is that Tyrion Lannis..?”
“No time for that, Guardian.” He answers. “Here – pick up this conveniently placed M16. Now kill!”
“Wait, what are these things?” you ask as you aim down the sights. “Why do they have four arms? WHY ARE THEY SHOOTING AT ME?”
So, you’ve been busy writing, I see. That work in progress (WIP) is coming along pretty well. But you just don’t know how your audience will feel about it. Or perhaps you’re ready to throw a new element into your story, but you’re not certain that your world is ready for it. So, you pace to and fro, sipping on a cup of coffee while you think it over. Suddenly an idea pops into your head:
“Hey, maybe I can get someone to be a beta reader!”
Suddenly, a knock sounds at your front door. But isn’t it, like, midnight? You open it, startled, and a bit confused to see a group of people clad in mail crafted from pop-can tabs and dresses woven from bedsheets. And there’s a guy in the back wearing sweats. But it’s okay, he has Cheetos.